Monday, June 6, 2016
Monday, December 28, 2015
Wednesday, June 17, 2015
Squirting, female ejaculation, gushing, g-spot orgasm... whatever you choose to call it, women want to know how to do it and men want to make it happen. Would a rose by any other name smell as sweet? It appears so. While many use them interchangeably, these terms actually describe slightly different phenomena that are closely related.
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What Is Squirting?
Let's talk anatomy for a moment. Women have a Skene's gland that is located near, or as part of, the g-spot. It is thought of as the female version of the prostate gland. Glands produce hormones, but during arousal, they produce fluid too. When stimulated vigorously for a prolonged period of time, these fluids can be spontaneously released. Some women squirt voluntarily, others involuntarily. For some it is pleasurable, for others it isn't. Can you squirt? Maybe.The History
It's amazing that there is even a question about whether or not female ejaculation is real. There are historical references dating back 2000 years about squirting. It seems that it was well known in Asia and mentioned in Chinese Taoist texts starting in the 4th Century. Aristotle and Galen even wrote about it. Why is it then that people seemingly forgot about it for so many years? Since Dr. Graffenburg (the man responsible for the g in g-spot) came along, we seem to be rediscovering it.Squirting Porn is Banned
In December 2014, the British government put a ban on porn that showed female ejaculation. Physiologically, female ejaculation the equivalent of male ejaculation. Why is it then that it is seen as inappropriate for women but not so for men? Your guess is as good as mine.How To Squirt
A good place to start is by making sure you are relaxed and getting really aroused. Find what stimulates your mind and your body... know yourself intimately. If you aren't familiar with your own anatomy, take some time to learn what and where everything is - your clitoris, g-spot, a-spot, perineum. Making sure you are well hydrated can also be helpful, so drink a glass of water about 20 minutes before you get started. A full bladder will also press against your g spot, making it more sensitive. When you are really aroused, locate your g-spot with a toy specially designed with a g-spot curve or your/your partner's fingers. Use a stronger, more vigorous motion than you normally would. You often need really strong pressure against the g-spot to squirt. Put in the extra work and don't stop until you get there. If you are using your fingers, curve them toward your belly button in a 'come hither' motion. Keep your arm stiff and shake it back and forth. When you get that "need to pee" feeling, you are almost there, just give in to it.Relax & Enjoy the Journey
Squirting is not the end all, be all. Take your time getting there and see what feels good to you. The less pressure you put on yourself or your partner, the more likely you are to experience it for yourself. Not all women are able to squirt but you can sure enjoy trying.Wednesday, April 8, 2015
Prostate Play
Amazing health benefits AND mind blowing orgasms... yes please! Prostate play offers men both of these.
Let me go ahead and dispel one of the biggest myths that prevents men from exploring this type of sexual experience. Anal play does not make a man gay. Specific sexual acts have nothing to do with sexual orientation! Gay, straight, bisexual. or otherwise - everyone can benefit from prostate play. Do what feels good to you. Explore your body, stimulate what sets your body ablaze, and forget close-minded stigmas of the past. Combining prostate play with something familiar, such as oral sex, can make it easier to explore.
So what exactly is the prostate? The prostate is a walnut-sized gland located at the root of the penis. It is often referred to as the male 'g-spot' or 'p-spot' and is responsible for about a third of the fluid found in semen.
It benefits my health and gives me pleasure? Absolutely! Regular prostate massage has been shown to reduce prostate cancer, erectile dysfunction, enlarged prostate, and frequent nighttime urination. It increases blood flow and improves overall erectile function. In addition to the health benefits, many men report amazing whole body orgasms too.
How do I stimulate the prostate? It can be found by inserting a toy or finger inside the anus and curling it toward the navel. The prostate becomes engorged when a man is aroused, so it is often easier to find at that point. Be sure to use plenty of lube since the anus does not make its own lubrication. Explore different movements to see what feels best. Stroking, pressure, or larger motions of often preferred, though small motions and vibrations may feel good too. When using a finger or two, many men find the "come here" motion, tapping, circles, or firm pressure very pleasing.
It is difficult for a man to reach his own prostate with his fingers alone (unless he has extraordinarily long fingers). Asking your partner to stimulate it for you is a great way to incorporate this into your play. Taking time to trim fingernails or wearing exam gloves will help protect the delicate anal walls.
Using a toy is another great way to stimulate your prostate alone or with a partner. Many great prostate toys have a curve that gives direct stimulation to the prostate. G-spot toys are often great as prostate toys too. Be sure to choose a toy with a flared base to prevent it from going all the way inside (it can get lost and that will quickly ruin a good time). Choose a toy made of a non-porous material such as silicone, glass, or metal. If you must use a toy that is porous, slip a condom on over it prior to use.
Will it hurt? Pain is your body's signal that something is not right. Prostate massage should not hurt! If it does, then stop and tweak your method.
Like a woman's g-spot, massaging the prostate can feel like a need to urinate. With time, you will learn to differentiate these feelings. Until then, urinate prior to play to make yourself more comfortable.
With such an array of benefits, what are you waiting for? Lube up and let go with some prostate play.
--
Jessica Rabbit
Twitter: www.twitter.com/omnilust
Facebook: www.facebook.com/omnilust
Blog: http://omnilust.com
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Monday, February 9, 2015
Fifty Shades of Grey: Movie Musings
The book that is responsible for bringing kink to the masses is about to make it's big screen premier. Universal's "Fifty Shades of Grey" movie is set to hit theaters this week on Valentine's Day. With all the buzz surrounding it, there is just as much controversy.
While some people can't wait to watch their favorite kinky book come to life on the screen, others have more than one complaint. I've seen some people play the moral card on social media, warning their friends to guard their eyes, minds, and children. Others have claimed that it romanticizes abuse and is a feminist nightmare. Some are outraged about the way the BDSM lifestyle is inaccurately portrayed.
My biggest concern is how they are going to transform the book to a movie and maintain an R rating. Last I checked, it would have easily qualified for an NC-17 rating. Like most things though, it will be only a watered down version of it's literary self. So what about you - what is your biggest issue with the new Fifty Shades of Grey movie?
If you are reading this and pondering the moral argument, then you may be on the wrong page. Exploring and embracing your sexuality is a beautiful and healthy thing. Judging what that means for others if it isn't your style is not beautiful or healthy. People have a tendency to fear what they don't understand.
One of the major points of contention with the whole Shades of Grey phenomenon is that it romanticizes abusive relationships. Some say that Christian Grey, one of the main characters, is an abuser. His admitted possession of Anastasia Steele could be seen as proof of the argument. Fans of the books have adamantly defended their favorite character. Feminists have vehemently attacked him. So where does the truth lie?
To be perfectly honest, I can see truth on both sides. I seriously doubt that this type of relationship will become the new romantic ideal for women, no matter how much indulging their fantasies with the story turns them on. Isn't the point of fantasy to be able to explore things that are outside of society's "norm"? Normal is such a subjective term anyway.
Christian and Anastasia have a relationship in which he exerts complete control in all things. His tendencies could even be considered stalking on some occasions. Anastasia rarely stands up to him and seems to rely completely on him for her sense of self worth. I can easily understand how that could give people the 'victim' image of her. However, I think it is important to remember that their relationship is completely consensual at all times.
BDSM is an erotic style embracing bondage, domination, and sado-masochism. It is not accurately represented in Fifty Shades of Grey. Grey is portrayed as cold-hearted in this arena and having a playroom full of scary sex toys. Those who engage in BDSM practices have clearly defined limits and good communication.
Quite damaging to the BDSM reputation is the implication that Christian Grey's particular erotic style developed because he is psychologically "sick" from childhood abuse. "There is no scientific evidence that childhood physical or sexual abuse are more prevalent in the histories of kinky folk than vanilla. Abuse histories are sadly prevalent for everyone, not just kinksters," says Russell Stambaugh, who chairs the AltSex Special Interests Group of the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists.
Those who enjoy BDSM will tell you that Grey is less than competent judging by his actions. Experienced BDSM practitioners point out that it is glaringly obvious by how he misjudges his potential new submissive's inexperience. His use of the cable ties is his most obvious mistake - even the novices noticed (could cause nerve damage and scarring). Does this make him more abusive or just ignorant?
As the release date nears, you get to decide whether or not you will flock to the theater to truly see for yourself. Me... yes, I will go watch to satisfy my own curiosity. Maybe I will see you there.
Read More
While some people can't wait to watch their favorite kinky book come to life on the screen, others have more than one complaint. I've seen some people play the moral card on social media, warning their friends to guard their eyes, minds, and children. Others have claimed that it romanticizes abuse and is a feminist nightmare. Some are outraged about the way the BDSM lifestyle is inaccurately portrayed.
My biggest concern is how they are going to transform the book to a movie and maintain an R rating. Last I checked, it would have easily qualified for an NC-17 rating. Like most things though, it will be only a watered down version of it's literary self. So what about you - what is your biggest issue with the new Fifty Shades of Grey movie?
If you are reading this and pondering the moral argument, then you may be on the wrong page. Exploring and embracing your sexuality is a beautiful and healthy thing. Judging what that means for others if it isn't your style is not beautiful or healthy. People have a tendency to fear what they don't understand.
One of the major points of contention with the whole Shades of Grey phenomenon is that it romanticizes abusive relationships. Some say that Christian Grey, one of the main characters, is an abuser. His admitted possession of Anastasia Steele could be seen as proof of the argument. Fans of the books have adamantly defended their favorite character. Feminists have vehemently attacked him. So where does the truth lie?
To be perfectly honest, I can see truth on both sides. I seriously doubt that this type of relationship will become the new romantic ideal for women, no matter how much indulging their fantasies with the story turns them on. Isn't the point of fantasy to be able to explore things that are outside of society's "norm"? Normal is such a subjective term anyway.
Christian and Anastasia have a relationship in which he exerts complete control in all things. His tendencies could even be considered stalking on some occasions. Anastasia rarely stands up to him and seems to rely completely on him for her sense of self worth. I can easily understand how that could give people the 'victim' image of her. However, I think it is important to remember that their relationship is completely consensual at all times.
BDSM is an erotic style embracing bondage, domination, and sado-masochism. It is not accurately represented in Fifty Shades of Grey. Grey is portrayed as cold-hearted in this arena and having a playroom full of scary sex toys. Those who engage in BDSM practices have clearly defined limits and good communication.
Quite damaging to the BDSM reputation is the implication that Christian Grey's particular erotic style developed because he is psychologically "sick" from childhood abuse. "There is no scientific evidence that childhood physical or sexual abuse are more prevalent in the histories of kinky folk than vanilla. Abuse histories are sadly prevalent for everyone, not just kinksters," says Russell Stambaugh, who chairs the AltSex Special Interests Group of the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists.
Those who enjoy BDSM will tell you that Grey is less than competent judging by his actions. Experienced BDSM practitioners point out that it is glaringly obvious by how he misjudges his potential new submissive's inexperience. His use of the cable ties is his most obvious mistake - even the novices noticed (could cause nerve damage and scarring). Does this make him more abusive or just ignorant?
As the release date nears, you get to decide whether or not you will flock to the theater to truly see for yourself. Me... yes, I will go watch to satisfy my own curiosity. Maybe I will see you there.
Monday, January 12, 2015
Monday, December 22, 2014
Rules of a Threesome!
Having a threesome can be an amazing experience. There are a variety of reasons for you and your partner to bring a third person into your sex life. Maybe you have always fantasized about having a threesome. Maybe you find that sexy stranger at the bar so alluring that you want to share the excitement with your partner. If you are a woman, you may want to explore your bi-curious side.
Once you decide to go for it, there are certain things that you should be aware of as a couple. Explore these suggestions carefully or it could cost you your relationship. Don't just read them, put them into action.
What is your biggest challenge? Making sure your significant other feels secure and adored - before, during, and after your threesome. Watching your partner being intimate with another person can bring up a lot of questions. "Will he still stay with me after he has gotten to have sex with her?" "Why is she doing this?" "Is it for us or for his own selfish desires and I'm just the bait?" If your actions are not reassuring, then future threesomes (foursomes or fivesomes even) are definitely out of the question. Follow these rules to ensure that everyone leaves happy.
1. Communicate - Communicate beforehand! Discuss honestly each of your fears and desires. Decide what is appropriate and not appropriate for everyone. Truly listen to one another and be open. Be clear, set ground rules, and honor them.
Someone in a committed monogamous relationship may need reassurance that this will not happen often. There may be a fear that threesome sex will replace the one-on-one intimacy they are used to. Another concern may be that you are not going to be having sex with others without your partner present. It is your job to reassure your partner and to keep your promises.\
Some people may be seeking a polyamorous relationship and therefore their concerns may be different. They may worry about differing opinions on asking someone into their relationship following a threesome. Once again, practice good communication with your partner and honor your word.
Be cautious doing things during a threesome that you don't normally do with your partner. It can lead to hurt feelings and resentment.
2. Choose Carefully - Decide together how you will choose the person to bring into a threesome. Do you have a neutral party in mind that you both feel comfortable with? Are you going to bring home someone you meet out together? Are you hiring an escort? Whatever you decide, make sure it is something that you both are comfortable with. It is generally not a good idea to invite co-workers or close friends to have a threesome. If something goes wrong, it could make things awkward having to see them all the time.
3. Divide Your Attention - During sex, give your partner 80% of your attention and the third party only 20%. If you are the lead role in your relationship, this is especially important to remember. Giving all of your attention to the new play partner can result in your significant other becoming jealous and offended.
Trust me... STAY AWARE OF THIS ALL THE TIME! Forgetting this introduces a split in your relationship.
No matter how much chemistry you may have with the new person, don't just jump on them. Stay mindful of your partner and their feelings. At some point, your partner may direct you to the new party. Still be sure to come back after a few minutes so jealousy doesn't ensue.
So what happens if your partner gets busy with the other person and you feel abandoned? Gently guide them back to you and calmly talk about it after the other party has left.
Since alcohol can make situations more emotional, staying relatively sober during your threesomes is a good idea.
How long does this 80-20 rule last? It will gradually become more even as you have more threesomes together as a couple. Eventually it may become 50-50. I don't suggest ever giving your partner less than half of your attention.
This can be a hard rule to follow when you have a sexy new playmate laying next to you open and inviting. Always be conscious of your partner and sensitive to their needs.
4. Engage & Enjoy - After your threesome, resist the urge to snuggle up and go to sleep. Divide your attention evenly and be warm and engaging with everyone. If you talk mostly with your partner or are quiet, everyone might assume that you didn't enjoy what just took place or that you only did it for your own selfish reasons. Stay awake and make conversation! This ensures that everyone enjoys the afterglow.
5. Deepen Your Relationship - Having a threesome is for both you and your partner. It is meant to expand your relationship. Covey this to your partner verbally as well as in your actions. Be open with one another. You are bringing a third person in to enhance the relationship between the two of you.
Don't just read this, apply it and enjoy the amazing results. Embrace your sexuality, creativity, and sense of adventure!
Read More
Once you decide to go for it, there are certain things that you should be aware of as a couple. Explore these suggestions carefully or it could cost you your relationship. Don't just read them, put them into action.
What is your biggest challenge? Making sure your significant other feels secure and adored - before, during, and after your threesome. Watching your partner being intimate with another person can bring up a lot of questions. "Will he still stay with me after he has gotten to have sex with her?" "Why is she doing this?" "Is it for us or for his own selfish desires and I'm just the bait?" If your actions are not reassuring, then future threesomes (foursomes or fivesomes even) are definitely out of the question. Follow these rules to ensure that everyone leaves happy.
1. Communicate - Communicate beforehand! Discuss honestly each of your fears and desires. Decide what is appropriate and not appropriate for everyone. Truly listen to one another and be open. Be clear, set ground rules, and honor them.
Someone in a committed monogamous relationship may need reassurance that this will not happen often. There may be a fear that threesome sex will replace the one-on-one intimacy they are used to. Another concern may be that you are not going to be having sex with others without your partner present. It is your job to reassure your partner and to keep your promises.\
Some people may be seeking a polyamorous relationship and therefore their concerns may be different. They may worry about differing opinions on asking someone into their relationship following a threesome. Once again, practice good communication with your partner and honor your word.
Be cautious doing things during a threesome that you don't normally do with your partner. It can lead to hurt feelings and resentment.
2. Choose Carefully - Decide together how you will choose the person to bring into a threesome. Do you have a neutral party in mind that you both feel comfortable with? Are you going to bring home someone you meet out together? Are you hiring an escort? Whatever you decide, make sure it is something that you both are comfortable with. It is generally not a good idea to invite co-workers or close friends to have a threesome. If something goes wrong, it could make things awkward having to see them all the time.
3. Divide Your Attention - During sex, give your partner 80% of your attention and the third party only 20%. If you are the lead role in your relationship, this is especially important to remember. Giving all of your attention to the new play partner can result in your significant other becoming jealous and offended.
Trust me... STAY AWARE OF THIS ALL THE TIME! Forgetting this introduces a split in your relationship.
No matter how much chemistry you may have with the new person, don't just jump on them. Stay mindful of your partner and their feelings. At some point, your partner may direct you to the new party. Still be sure to come back after a few minutes so jealousy doesn't ensue.
So what happens if your partner gets busy with the other person and you feel abandoned? Gently guide them back to you and calmly talk about it after the other party has left.
Since alcohol can make situations more emotional, staying relatively sober during your threesomes is a good idea.
How long does this 80-20 rule last? It will gradually become more even as you have more threesomes together as a couple. Eventually it may become 50-50. I don't suggest ever giving your partner less than half of your attention.
This can be a hard rule to follow when you have a sexy new playmate laying next to you open and inviting. Always be conscious of your partner and sensitive to their needs.
4. Engage & Enjoy - After your threesome, resist the urge to snuggle up and go to sleep. Divide your attention evenly and be warm and engaging with everyone. If you talk mostly with your partner or are quiet, everyone might assume that you didn't enjoy what just took place or that you only did it for your own selfish reasons. Stay awake and make conversation! This ensures that everyone enjoys the afterglow.
5. Deepen Your Relationship - Having a threesome is for both you and your partner. It is meant to expand your relationship. Covey this to your partner verbally as well as in your actions. Be open with one another. You are bringing a third person in to enhance the relationship between the two of you.
Don't just read this, apply it and enjoy the amazing results. Embrace your sexuality, creativity, and sense of adventure!
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