Once you decide to go for it, there are certain things that you should be aware of as a couple. Explore these suggestions carefully or it could cost you your relationship. Don't just read them, put them into action.
What is your biggest challenge? Making sure your significant other feels secure and adored - before, during, and after your threesome. Watching your partner being intimate with another person can bring up a lot of questions. "Will he still stay with me after he has gotten to have sex with her?" "Why is she doing this?" "Is it for us or for his own selfish desires and I'm just the bait?" If your actions are not reassuring, then future threesomes (foursomes or fivesomes even) are definitely out of the question. Follow these rules to ensure that everyone leaves happy.
1. Communicate - Communicate beforehand! Discuss honestly each of your fears and desires. Decide what is appropriate and not appropriate for everyone. Truly listen to one another and be open. Be clear, set ground rules, and honor them.
Someone in a committed monogamous relationship may need reassurance that this will not happen often. There may be a fear that threesome sex will replace the one-on-one intimacy they are used to. Another concern may be that you are not going to be having sex with others without your partner present. It is your job to reassure your partner and to keep your promises.\
Some people may be seeking a polyamorous relationship and therefore their concerns may be different. They may worry about differing opinions on asking someone into their relationship following a threesome. Once again, practice good communication with your partner and honor your word.
Be cautious doing things during a threesome that you don't normally do with your partner. It can lead to hurt feelings and resentment.
2. Choose Carefully - Decide together how you will choose the person to bring into a threesome. Do you have a neutral party in mind that you both feel comfortable with? Are you going to bring home someone you meet out together? Are you hiring an escort? Whatever you decide, make sure it is something that you both are comfortable with. It is generally not a good idea to invite co-workers or close friends to have a threesome. If something goes wrong, it could make things awkward having to see them all the time.
3. Divide Your Attention - During sex, give your partner 80% of your attention and the third party only 20%. If you are the lead role in your relationship, this is especially important to remember. Giving all of your attention to the new play partner can result in your significant other becoming jealous and offended.
Trust me... STAY AWARE OF THIS ALL THE TIME! Forgetting this introduces a split in your relationship.
No matter how much chemistry you may have with the new person, don't just jump on them. Stay mindful of your partner and their feelings. At some point, your partner may direct you to the new party. Still be sure to come back after a few minutes so jealousy doesn't ensue.
So what happens if your partner gets busy with the other person and you feel abandoned? Gently guide them back to you and calmly talk about it after the other party has left.
Since alcohol can make situations more emotional, staying relatively sober during your threesomes is a good idea.
How long does this 80-20 rule last? It will gradually become more even as you have more threesomes together as a couple. Eventually it may become 50-50. I don't suggest ever giving your partner less than half of your attention.
This can be a hard rule to follow when you have a sexy new playmate laying next to you open and inviting. Always be conscious of your partner and sensitive to their needs.
4. Engage & Enjoy - After your threesome, resist the urge to snuggle up and go to sleep. Divide your attention evenly and be warm and engaging with everyone. If you talk mostly with your partner or are quiet, everyone might assume that you didn't enjoy what just took place or that you only did it for your own selfish reasons. Stay awake and make conversation! This ensures that everyone enjoys the afterglow.
5. Deepen Your Relationship - Having a threesome is for both you and your partner. It is meant to expand your relationship. Covey this to your partner verbally as well as in your actions. Be open with one another. You are bringing a third person in to enhance the relationship between the two of you.
Don't just read this, apply it and enjoy the amazing results. Embrace your sexuality, creativity, and sense of adventure!
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