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Squirting, female ejaculation, gushing, g-spot orgasm... whatever you choose to call it, women want to know how to do it and men want to make it happen. Would a rose by any other name smell as sweet? It appears so. While many use them interchangeably, these terms actually describe slightly different phenomena that are closely related.

What Is Squirting?

Let's talk anatomy for a moment. Women have a Skene's gland that is located near, or as part of, the g-spot. It is thought of as the female version of the prostate gland. Glands produce hormones, but during arousal, they produce fluid too. When stimulated vigorously for a prolonged period of time, these fluids can be spontaneously released. Some women squirt voluntarily, others involuntarily. For some it is pleasurable, for others it isn't. Can you squirt? Maybe.

The History

It's amazing that there is even a question about whether or not female ejaculation is real. There are historical references dating back 2000 years about squirting. It seems that it was well known in Asia and mentioned in Chinese Taoist texts starting in the 4th Century. Aristotle and Galen even wrote about it. Why is it then that people seemingly forgot about it for so many years? Since Dr. Graffenburg (the man responsible for the g in g-spot) came along, we seem to be rediscovering it.

Squirting Porn is Banned

In December 2014, the British government put a ban on porn that showed female ejaculation. Physiologically, female ejaculation the equivalent of male ejaculation. Why is it then that it is seen as inappropriate for women but not so for men? Your guess is as good as mine.

How To Squirt

A good place to start is by making sure you are relaxed and getting really aroused. Find what stimulates your mind and your body... know yourself intimately. If you aren't familiar with your own anatomy, take some time to learn what and where everything is - your clitoris, g-spot, a-spot, perineum. Making sure you are well hydrated can also be helpful, so drink a glass of water about 20 minutes before you get started. A full bladder will also press against your g spot, making it more sensitive. When you are really aroused, locate your g-spot with a toy specially designed with a g-spot curve or your/your partner's fingers. Use a stronger, more vigorous motion than you normally would. You often need really strong pressure against the g-spot to squirt. Put in the extra work and don't stop until you get there. If you are using your fingers, curve them toward your belly button in a 'come hither' motion. Keep your arm stiff and shake it back and forth. When you get that "need to pee" feeling, you are almost there, just give in to it.

Relax & Enjoy the Journey

Squirting is not the end all, be all. Take your time getting there and see what feels good to you. The less pressure you put on yourself or your partner, the more likely you are to experience it for yourself. Not all women are able to squirt but you can sure enjoy trying.  

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Prostate Play

Amazing health benefits AND mind blowing orgasms... yes please! Prostate play offers men both of these.

Let me go ahead and dispel one of the biggest myths that prevents men from exploring this type of sexual experience. Anal play does not make a man gay. Specific sexual acts have nothing to do with sexual orientation! Gay, straight, bisexual. or otherwise - everyone can benefit from prostate play. Do what feels good to you. Explore your body, stimulate what sets your body ablaze, and forget close-minded stigmas of the past. Combining prostate play with something familiar, such as oral sex, can make it easier to explore. So what exactly is the prostate? The prostate is a walnut-sized gland located at the root of the penis. It is often referred to as the male 'g-spot' or 'p-spot' and is responsible for about a third of the fluid found in semen. It benefits my health and gives me pleasure? Absolutely! Regular prostate massage has been shown to reduce prostate cancer, erectile dysfunction, enlarged prostate, and frequent nighttime urination. It increases blood flow and improves overall erectile function. In addition to the health benefits, many men report amazing whole body orgasms too. How do I stimulate the prostate? It can be found by inserting a toy or finger inside the anus and curling it toward the navel. The prostate becomes engorged when a man is aroused, so it is often easier to find at that point. Be sure to use plenty of lube since the anus does not make its own lubrication. Explore different movements to see what feels best. Stroking, pressure, or larger motions of often preferred, though small motions and vibrations may feel good too. When using a finger or two, many men find the "come here" motion, tapping, circles, or firm pressure very pleasing. It is difficult for a man to reach his own prostate with his fingers alone (unless he has extraordinarily long fingers). Asking your partner to stimulate it for you is a great way to incorporate this into your play. Taking time to trim fingernails or wearing exam gloves will help protect the delicate anal walls. Using a toy is another great way to stimulate your prostate alone or with a partner. Many great prostate toys have a curve that gives direct stimulation to the prostate. G-spot toys are often great as prostate toys too. Be sure to choose a toy with a flared base to prevent it from going all the way inside (it can get lost and that will quickly ruin a good time). Choose a toy made of a non-porous material such as silicone, glass, or metal. If you must use a toy that is porous, slip a condom on over it prior to use. Will it hurt? Pain is your body's signal that something is not right. Prostate massage should not hurt! If it does, then stop and tweak your method. Like a woman's g-spot, massaging the prostate can feel like a need to urinate. With time, you will learn to differentiate these feelings. Until then, urinate prior to play to make yourself more comfortable. With such an array of benefits, what are you waiting for? Lube up and let go with some prostate play. -- Jessica Rabbit Twitter: www.twitter.com/omnilust Facebook: www.facebook.com/omnilust Blog: http://omnilust.com

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Fifty Shades of Grey: Movie Musings

The book that is responsible for bringing kink to the masses is about to make it's big screen premier. Universal's "Fifty Shades of Grey" movie is set to hit theaters this week on Valentine's Day. With all the buzz surrounding it, there is just as much controversy.

While some people can't wait to watch their favorite kinky book come to life on the screen, others have more than one complaint. I've seen some people play the moral card on social media, warning their friends to guard their eyes, minds, and children. Others have claimed that it romanticizes abuse and is a feminist nightmare. Some are outraged about the way the BDSM lifestyle is inaccurately portrayed.

My biggest concern is how they are going to transform the book to a movie and maintain an R rating. Last I checked, it would have easily qualified for an NC-17 rating. Like most things though, it will be only a watered down version of it's literary self. So what about you - what is your biggest issue with the new Fifty Shades of Grey movie?

If you are reading this and pondering the moral argument, then you may be on the wrong page. Exploring and embracing your sexuality is a beautiful and healthy thing. Judging what that means for others if it isn't your style is not beautiful or healthy. People have a tendency to fear what they don't understand.

One of the major points of contention with the whole Shades of Grey phenomenon is that it romanticizes abusive relationships. Some say that Christian Grey, one of the main characters, is an abuser. His admitted possession of Anastasia Steele could be seen as proof of the argument. Fans of the books have adamantly defended their favorite character. Feminists have vehemently attacked him. So where does the truth lie?

To be perfectly honest, I can see truth on both sides. I seriously doubt that this type of relationship will become the new romantic ideal for women, no matter how much indulging their fantasies with the story turns them on. Isn't the point of fantasy to be able to explore things that are outside of society's "norm"? Normal is such a subjective term anyway.

Christian and Anastasia have a relationship in which he exerts complete control in all things. His tendencies could even be considered stalking on some occasions. Anastasia rarely stands up to him and seems to rely completely on him for her sense of self worth. I can easily understand how that could give people the 'victim' image of her. However, I think it is important to remember that their relationship is completely consensual at all times.

BDSM is an erotic style embracing bondage, domination, and sado-masochism. It is not accurately represented in Fifty Shades of Grey. Grey is portrayed as cold-hearted in this arena and having a playroom full of scary sex toys. Those who engage in BDSM practices have clearly defined limits and good communication.

Quite damaging to the BDSM reputation is the implication that Christian Grey's particular erotic style developed because he is psychologically "sick" from childhood abuse. "There is no scientific evidence that childhood physical or sexual abuse are more prevalent in the histories of kinky folk than vanilla. Abuse histories are sadly prevalent for everyone, not just kinksters," says Russell Stambaugh, who chairs the AltSex Special Interests Group of the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists.

Those who enjoy BDSM will tell you that Grey is less than competent judging by his actions. Experienced BDSM practitioners point out that it is glaringly obvious by how he misjudges his potential new submissive's inexperience. His use of the cable ties is his most obvious mistake - even the novices noticed (could cause nerve damage and scarring). Does this make him more abusive or just ignorant?

As the release date nears, you get to decide whether or not you will flock to the theater to truly see for yourself. Me... yes, I will go watch to satisfy my own curiosity. Maybe I will see you there.

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Rules of a Threesome!

Having a threesome can be an amazing experience. There are a variety of reasons for you and your partner to bring a third person into your sex life. Maybe you have always fantasized about having a threesome. Maybe you find that sexy stranger at the bar so alluring that you want to share the excitement with your partner. If you are a woman, you may want to explore your bi-curious side.
Once you decide to go for it, there are certain things that you should be aware of as a couple. Explore these suggestions carefully or it could cost you your relationship. Don't just read them, put them into action.

What is your biggest challenge? Making sure your significant other feels secure and adored - before, during, and after your threesome. Watching your partner being intimate with another person can bring up a lot of questions. "Will he still stay with me after he has gotten to have sex with her?" "Why is she doing this?" "Is it for us or for his own selfish desires and I'm just the bait?" If your actions are not reassuring, then future threesomes (foursomes or fivesomes even) are definitely out of the question. Follow these rules to ensure that everyone leaves happy.


1. Communicate   -  Communicate beforehand! Discuss honestly each of your fears and desires. Decide what is appropriate and not appropriate for everyone. Truly listen to one another and be open. Be clear, set ground rules, and honor them.

Someone in a committed monogamous relationship may need reassurance that this will not happen often. There may be a fear that threesome sex will replace the one-on-one intimacy they are used to. Another concern may be that you are not going to be having sex with others without your partner present. It is your job to reassure your partner and to keep your promises.\

Some people may be seeking a polyamorous relationship and therefore their concerns may be different. They may worry about differing opinions on asking someone into their relationship following a threesome. Once again, practice good communication with your partner and honor your word.

Be cautious doing things during a threesome that you don't normally do with your partner. It can lead to hurt feelings and resentment.

2. Choose Carefully -  Decide together how you will choose the person to bring into a threesome. Do you have a neutral party in mind that you both feel comfortable with? Are you going to bring home someone you meet out together? Are you hiring an escort?  Whatever you decide, make sure it is something that you both are comfortable with. It is generally not a good idea to invite co-workers or close friends to have a threesome. If something goes wrong, it could make things awkward having to see them all the time.

3. Divide Your Attention -  During sex, give your partner 80% of your attention and the third party only 20%. If you are the lead role in your relationship, this is especially important to remember. Giving all of your attention to the new play partner can result in your significant other becoming jealous and offended.

Trust me... STAY AWARE OF THIS ALL THE TIME! Forgetting this introduces a split in your relationship.

No matter how much chemistry you may have with the new person, don't just jump on them. Stay mindful of your partner and their feelings. At some point, your partner may direct you to the new party. Still be sure to come back after a few minutes so jealousy doesn't ensue.

So what happens if your partner gets busy with the other person and you feel abandoned? Gently guide them back to you and calmly talk about it after the other party has left.

Since alcohol can make situations more emotional, staying relatively sober during your threesomes is a good idea.

How long does this 80-20 rule last? It will gradually become more even as you have more threesomes together as a couple. Eventually it may become 50-50. I don't suggest ever giving your partner less than half of your attention.

This can be a hard rule to follow when you have a sexy new playmate laying next to you open and inviting. Always be conscious of your partner and sensitive to their needs.

4. Engage & Enjoy -  After your threesome, resist the urge to snuggle up and go to sleep. Divide your attention evenly and be warm and engaging with everyone. If you talk mostly with your partner or are quiet, everyone might assume that you didn't enjoy what just took place or that you only did it for your own selfish reasons. Stay awake and make conversation! This ensures that everyone enjoys the afterglow.

5. Deepen Your Relationship -  Having a threesome is for both you and your partner. It is meant to expand your relationship. Covey this to your partner verbally as well as in your actions. Be open with one another. You are bringing a third person in to enhance the relationship between the two of you.

Don't just read this, apply it and enjoy the amazing results. Embrace your sexuality, creativity, and sense of adventure!

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Orgasms can be as varied as those having them. From toe curling and earth shattering to questionable existence. Even though they may all technically qualify as orgasms, most of us would prefer that they fall on the stronger end of the scale. If you want to maximize your orgasms, then try these suggestions.

Be Strong
By definition, orgasms are rhythmic muscular contractions in the pelvic region. So it would only make sense that stronger muscles equal stronger orgasms. The best way to tone and strengthen your vaginal muscles is by doing regular Kegels. (Read Keep It Tight, Keep It Up: Kegels for more information on the benefits of Kegels and how to get started.)

Pump 
Pumping your pelvic muscles during sex brings extra blood flow and oxygen to your pelvis. This heightens sensitivity and can help you achieve a more intense orgasm. It may feel forced and mechanical at first, but the more you do it, the more natural it will become during sex.

Use Your Breath
Deep breathing, especially deep exhalations, can intensify your orgasm. Moaning can do the same thing. Some women are self-conscious of making noise during sex, so they often hold their breath when they get close to orgasm without even realizing it. One Tantric technique is to take15-20 rapid breaths followed by a long exhale. You could also try breathing in sync with your lover.

Edge
Have you ever gotten your partner to the brink of orgasm, then backed off for a few seconds so they wouldn't come just yet, only to do it all over again? That is edging. It's a form of orgasm control that's buildup causes a stronger, more intense orgasm. You can practice this solo or with a partner. It can be done multiple times before allowing an orgasm.

Take It Slow
Don't rush to get there! Slow down and take lots of time to get warmed up with kissing and foreplay. By slowly building arousal, your orgasm will be stronger. When your body us screaming for release, then let go.

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Erotic body painting is a fun and easy way to spice up your foreplay. You don't have to have the skills of Picasso or Michelangelo to create an orgasm worthy masterpiece. Sex is meant to be fun, so keep it lighthearted and enjoy the new sensations. Before you get started with your painting, take a few minutes (seconds if you are impatient) to prepare. First, ensure that neither you nor your partner have any allergies to the paint you will be using. A trip to the emergency room is a quick way to ruin a sexy encounter. Next, realize that painting can be messy. Using old sheets or putting down plastic (trash bags work well) can help contain drips and spills. Make sure there will be no interruptions - having to explain to the kids why they can't join in on the art project could be an awkward conversation. Finally, I suggest starting with clean canvases (so shower up).

   

Pick Your Provisions Choosing your materials to paint with leaves you with endless possibilities. You can always use a paintbrush (thin tips are great)... you can also use your fingers, feathers, and sponges. The variety of paint choices include flavored, water colors, food, and glow in the dark. Here are some ideas to get your creative juices flowing:

• syrups (chocolate is a favorite)
• jams & jellies
• strawberries
• blueberries
• watercolor kits
• water paints (can be found in the toy section in most stores)
• body paint pens
• specialized body paints

 

Games to Play

Treasure Map - Draw a map on your body for your lover to follow. Include stops along the way with directions (lick, suck, nibble).

Truth, Dare Or Chocolate  - This sexy board game combines chocolate, saucy dares, and artistic skills.

Paint Your Masterpiece - Whether your artistic talent is professional quality or your stick people are crooked, paint a picture on your lover's body. It can be elaborate or simple doodles... the sensations you will create as you paint will have them squirming and begging for more.

Dress to Impress - Paint a thong and bra on her naked body... or get more creative by adding a corset and thigh high stockings. Paint a sexy pair of underwear on him (he can have a g-string too). For added excitement, use flavored paint and lick their new "clothes" off of them when you are finished.

Blindfolded Guess - When you blindfold your lover, all of their other senses are heightened (including their sense of touch). So go ahead and slip a blindfold on them. Then paint words or messages on their body and let them guess what you are writing. Do you remember when someone would trace a word on your arm as a child and you would guess what it was? This is the sexy adult version.

Bath Play - Run a bath for two and bring along the water paints. There are even special bath paints made for kids that will work perfect for you creative painting on each other.

Glowing Surprise - Paint a message on yourself with glow in the dark paint for your lover to find when the lights go out. Leave an X marks the spot or a silly message like "do me now". Your gesture is sure to get a laugh and some action.  

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Temperature play is a fun way to experiment with different erotic sensations. Has your lover ever kissed you after taking a sip of their cold drink? That icy kiss is a small taste of what temperature play can be. This type of play is often associated with BDSM, but can be modified to satisfy vanilla tastes too. Temperature play can include heat and cold play. Glass toys are designed to hold temperature, so they are wonderful toys for this type of play. Grab a bowl, fill it with warm/hot water, and submerge your glass toy. Allow it to sit for a few minutes and it should be ready to play with. Be sure to check the temperature on the inside of your wrist prior to play. If it is too hot there, then wait a few minutes for it to cool before using it on your more sensitive parts. I suggest avoiding the microwave to heat your toy. Microwaves can cause uneven heating and end up with dangerous hot spots on your toy. You can reverse the process for cold play by filling the bowl with cold water (even adding ice if you choose). If you are feeling extra adventurous, you can even make an ice dildo. Ice cubes rubbed across your partner's body can cause chilling sensations. Drinking an iced drink or sucking on ice then kissing, licking, sucking your partner's body gives delicious cold sensations too. This is especially exciting if combined with oral sex. Using hot candle wax is another fun way to add heat in your play. The distance the candle is held off of the skin allows more control over the heat of the wax. The higher up you hold it, the more time it has to cool before reaching the skin (18 inches is generally considered a safe distance). You then drip or pour the melted wax onto your partner's skin. Cheap white paraffin or votive candles are best for beginners. Beeswax candles melt at a much higher temperature, so the wax is much hotter on the skin. Check the temperature on yourself before applying to your lover. The back and shoulders are good spots to begin with. Be careful not to get the wax in your partner's hair since it can be tricky to get out. Special candles are also made for this type of wax play. Spanking or flogging your partner before adding temperature play is the equivalent of turning up the volume. The increase in blood flow to the surface of the skin causes more sensitivity. I don't suggest switching between ice and heat rapidly for beginners - it can cause serious burns. To make sure that both you and your partner get the most enjoyment out of temperature play, check in with each other often. Like all other forms of sexual play, communication is key to an great experience.  

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It's What's for Dinner"

Eating pussy is an art form. There, I said it! I am sad to report that there are a ton of people who missed the memo on this one. Too many women (myself included) have experienced mediocre oral sex. It takes more than an orgasm to qualify as good.  So what does make it amazing?

A woman's pussy is meant to be adored and worshipped with her lover's mouth. I think where so many go wrong is by viewing oral sex as an appetizer - something to rush through to get to the 'real' sex. Take your time kissing, stroking, and nibbling her all over. Use your whole mouth - lips, tongue, teeth, cheeks... don't forget to use your hands too! Check in with your lover and ask what feels good to her. 

Here are some positions to try out...

Have your partner lie on her back with her head and neck supported by a pillow.  Straddle her ankles and lean forward until your mouth is at her pussy. Having her legs closed during oral sex can result in a slow build-up.  Put one hand above her pubic mound and apply slight pressure.  This position is especially great for women who find direct clitoral stimulation uncomfortable.

 Have your partner lie on her back with her knees drawn up.  Place a pillow under her hips to tilt her pelvis and lay between her legs.  This angle provides strong direct stimulation.

Lie on your back, keep your feet flat on the bed with your knees bent, and position a pillow under your neck and head for support.  Have your partner lay on top of you (with her back touching your stomach), move her feet by your head, and rest her head on your bent knees.  

She straddles you, placing her knees by your ears.  She can hold onto the headboard or wall for support. This position allows her easy access to her nipples or clitoris for self-stimulation while you indulge in pleasuring her with your mouth.





The infamous 69 position allows both partners to give and receive simultaneously. Also try rolling onto your sides in this position.

She bends over and holds her ankles while you kneel behind her. This position gives you full access.  This can be modified by having her lean over the back of a couch or lay over a bed.

Go ahead, eat pussy as your main course tonight and watch your lover melt in your mouth. 

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Keep Your Erection Long Strong

Many men judge themselves by how their dick performs during sex.  Long and strong are the coveted traits.  If you have ever been in the midst of sex and had your's go soft, then you know the psychological mess that creates.  So what can be done to avoid the dreaded limp dick?

If you have struggled with keeping an erection, then let me first say to not be so hard on yourself.  If you are able to get it up when you are aroused, then lets focus on keeping it there.  If you can't get an erection at all, then I suggest speaking with your doctor to rule out medical causes.  

Why do men have trouble keeping it up?

You are bored.  Having the same routine in the bedroom can really put a damper on your libido and performance.  Boredom with your job or life can do the same.  

Condoms can numb you.  Often, condoms can cause you to loose some sensation.  Try switching up the type of condom you use but don't skip them altogether unless you and your partner are exclusively with each other.  

Pills can be the cause.  Painkillers, muscle relaxers, and anti-depressants can all make it hard to get and keep an erection.  If you are taking any of these, then talk honestly with your doctor and work to get a combination that doesn't numb you.

Fear of going soft again.  If you have lost your erection during sex before, then you can loose it again in the future just by stressing that it is going to happen.  This is the biggest reason men continue to suffer from erection problems.

Pressure to perform.  Trying to have a perfect performance to impress your partner can cause a limp erection.  This is especially true when trying to get your partner pregnant or starting a new sexual relationship.

Unhealthy lifestyle.  Lack of sleep, poor eating habits, smoking, and excessive drinking all contribute to poor erections.  Making healthy lifestyle choices boosts your sex drive and erection.

Limp erections can wreak havoc on a man's self-esteem and relationship.  So what can help?   

Try a cock ring.  This ring is worn around the base of the shaft (include balls if you like), working like a push-up bra for your dick.  It helps you achieve longer, stronger erections.

Communicate with your partner.  The more it happens, the more anxiety it causes.  It can also leave his partner feeling unattractive and undesirable.  The key to working through this is good communication with your partner.  Reassure one another.

Spice things up.  Talk about your fantasies, try role playing, have sex in new places, add toys to your sex life... try new things and take the focus off of your erection.

Relax.  Take deep breaths each day to increase your oxygen levels and decrease your stress.  Make sure you are comfortable during sex by avoiding positions that you have to support your weight for long periods.  Don't overeat prior to sex and engage when you aren't too tired.

Work out.  Strengthening your abdominal muscles will help them hold up your erection instead of just your gut.  Being physically fit feels good and boosts your confidence.  The increased blood circulation will also help pick your guy up and keep him hard.  Kegels are another great exercise to add.

Take it slow.  You might think it is a good idea to penetrate as quickly as possible during sex to make sure you are able to get it in.  Over time, this will decrease your confidence and make it harder to maintain an erection.  When you put so much focus on penetration, you are increasing the pressure on yourself.  Enjoy foreplay and try relaxed penetration. 

Arousal gels/creams.  These specialized lotions and potions combine slight numbing agents with products that increase blood circulation to your penis. 

Don't masturbate too often.  Saving your hard on for your partner can help you keep it up longer. 

Try these tips and you will be ready for a long, hard ride from your partner.  Sex is meant to be enjoyed... so take a deep breath and enjoy it!

By:  Jessica Rabbit - If you like this, go read more at Sugar & Spice ~ Leather & Lace!

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8 Suprising Benefits of Sex

We know that sex can be a lot of fun and result in great orgasms, but is there more?  There are some surprising benefits to sex that you may not know about.

Fountain of Youth

When women have sex, their estrogen levels double.  Higher estrogen means shinier, thicker, smoother hair.  Sex helps boost the production of the human growth hormone too, which improves muscle tone and makes you look and feel younger.  Collagen production is also boosted, resulting in more youthful skin.  With all these benefits, sex really does seem like the fountain of youth!

Lower Stress & Stronger Immune System

Having sex can actually lower blood pressure levels, making you less prone to stress.  According to a study at Wilkes University, having regular sex can boost your immunity by resulting in higher levels of the antibody Immunoglobulin A.  Endorphins are released during sex (as well as laughter).  Endorphins help control pain, as well as feelings of stress and frustration.  They produce a "natural high" and are nature's best anti-depressant.  Just think of your daily romp as your happy pill!

Strong PC Muscle = Better Bladder Control & Stronger Orgasms

You do squats to tone your butt, but when is the last time you did your Kegels?  Kegels are an exercise that tones your pelvic floor muscles.  By having strong pelvic floor muscles, you have better bladder control and are able to have stronger orgasms.  Learn more about how to get started by reading Keep It Up, Keep It Tight:  Kegels.  Having orgasms is also a workout for your pelvic floor muscles!

Orgasms With Aunt Flo = Cramp Relief & Shorter Period

Have you been avoiding getting busy during that time of the month?  Well, don't!  Orgasms are a great way to relieve menstrual cramps.  During climax, your uterus contracts, which results in a temporary heavier flow, then a shorter period (since more of the blood and uterus lining have been shed).  Who doesn't want that?

Higher Libido

Are you wanting to boost your libido?  Having sex will make you want more sex.  For women, having sex increases vaginal lubrication, blood flow, and elasticity.  This adds up to sex feeling better and you craving more of it.

Counts As Exercise

Sex is a great form of exercise.  You burn about five calories per minute... so the longer you play, the more you burn.  It gives you double the benefit by increasing your heart rate and using various muscles.  Just like exercise, consistency maximizes the benefits.

May Make Prostate Caner Less Likely

Getting it on may make prostate cancer less likely.  Men who ejaculated frequently (at least 21 times per month) were less likely to get prostrate cancer according to one study published by the Journal of the American Medical Association.  This one doesn't require a partner - masturbation, wet dreams, and intercourse all count.  It isn't clear that sex was the only reason for a reduced risk of prostrate cancer in the study, but it definitely can't hurt.

Improves Sleep

Have you ever noticed that many people nod out after sex?  After orgasm, the hormone prolactin is released, which is responsible for feelings of relaxation and sleepiness.

These health benefits are a great excuse to add more sex into your life... as if you needed one!  So go ahead, get busy and reap the rewards.

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The Lost Art of Kissing

I believe that kissing has become a lost art.

I've noticed over the years (and especially in relationships) how true this really is.  I'm not even sure if most couples realize it, but people just stop kissing.  It goes from passion to little pecks on the lips in passing.  Instead of kissing being exciting, it becomes something done without thought or feeling behind it.

Why is it that the art of kissing has become lost?  Is it that we are too busy... too caught up in the chaos of everyday life?  Maybe it's just seen as part of foreplay... kind of like a prerequisite to get to the real action.  If that is the mindset, then things are going to be hurried and not enjoyed.  Kissing someone is such a personal and intimate experience... maybe we just aren't willing to get that vulnerable.

So, do those 'leave you breathless, knees weak, head spinning kisses' really exist?  Some wonder if it is just another legend.  Let me tell you - it does exist.  Not all kisses have to be this earth shaking though.  There are a lot of different ways to kiss the one you love, like, or just lust.

Here are some of my favorite types of kisses...

The french kiss is considered the most popular romantic kiss.  It is also known as tongue kissing.  In this kind of kiss, one person's tongue touches the other person's tongue.  It is easy to do, but true skill comes with years of practice.

The single-lip kiss is when you sandwich one of your partner's lips between yours and gently suck.

The earlobe kiss is when you take your partner's earlobe between your lips and gently suck and tug.  Circling your tongue around the earlobe can intensify the sensations.

The biting kiss is similar to the French kiss, but involves the teeth too.  It is an open mouth kiss where you gently grab your partner's tongue with your teeth.

The neck kiss is when you lightly kiss down someone's neck.  It is often done after the French kiss and is best enjoyed with minimal saliva.  Using only your lips and not sucking hard help prevent your mouth from producing too much saliva.

The whole body kiss is when you start by lightly kissing your partner's forehead, then their temples, bridge of their nose... give a passionate kiss on the lips.  Trail kisses down their neck, along their collarbone, down their chest... keep going, letting your lips explore their whole body.

The therapeutic kiss can do wonders for your stressed out partner.  To accomplish this, put your lips on the bridge of their nose and deliver a series of soft kisses.  The gently pressure of your lips along with the warmth of your breath will calm your partner, lower their blood pressure, ease headaches, and quiet their mind.

Why not take the time to TRULY kiss someone?  Make it sensual, making love with your mouths.  Give of yourself... its so worth it.

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Lets talk about perspective.  Oral sex is not a chore and shouldn't be viewed as such (unless this is a role play situation of course).  Often, the desire to perform is much more of a turn on important than the skill of the performance itself.  By approaching it with an open mind and enhancing what you love about giving head, it becomes even more fun for everyone involved.  Giving a blow job can be an empowering experience since you are in full control of your partner's pleasure.  Do what feels good to you... if you are trying to do things you don't enjoy then both of you will be able to tell the difference.

So how do you get started?  I like to take my time even getting to the actual blow job.  Start with trailing kisses from his lips, along his jawline, down his neck... keep going down his chest, taking time to lick and nibble his nipples on the way.  While your mouth is working it's way down his body, you can caress his skin with your hands using light strokes.  Kissing down his stomach, stop and linger along his belt line and hip bones.  The whole process is meant to be a slow, sensual journey.  By this time, he will be squirming and anticipating your every move.  When you get to his penis, linger over it with your mouth... without making any physical contact, just allow him to feel the heat of your breath.  Bypassing his goods, kiss and nip your way from his thigh up to his package.  Give the other side some love too!  Now you can get to what he has been waiting for... the actual blow job.  Making eye contact with your lover, begin to stroke his shaft and take him into your mouth.  Eye contact amplifies the already intense sensations for your lover and allows you to relish in his facial expression.  Watching him is a bonus turn on for you too!  You can draw out the initial sensation of your mouth on his penis by swirling your tongue around and kissing down his shaft.  The best blow jobs include not only your mouth, but your hands too!

I could go on and on, but to save you from redundancy, check out this great slideshow for lots more information.  It includes the history of fellatio, spitting vs swallowing, what to eat/drink, anatomy, techniques, and tips & tricks:

Adding an oral sex gel or flavored lube can make things taste yummy and slide more easily as you play.  Sliquid Swirl and Max Head in Sugar Daddy are my personal favorites!  

So go ahead, surprise your man with a mind blowing blow job  today!  What tips or tricks do you have to share?

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Keep It Tight, Keep it Up: Kegels

What if I told you that you can exercise without leaving your seat or even lifting a finger?  What if the kind of exercise I'm talking about has massive bedroom benefits too?  These possibilities might make even the most unmotivated of us perk up.  Well, it is possible... and it is called  Kegel exercises.

So what exactly is a Kegel?  Kegel exercises consist of repeatedly contracting and relaxing the muscles that form part of the pelvic floor.  These muscles act as a "hammock" to support the pelvic organs.  If you aren't sure which muscles I'm referring to, then just contract the muscles that you would use to stop urinating... those are the same ones.  (You know you just tried it!)

Doing your Kegel exercises comes with lots of benefits.  Reducing urinary incontinence is one... but there are more that are sexually beneficial.  For men, they reduce premature ejaculation and give bigger, stronger erections.  An article in BJUI also found that Kegels can help reverse erectile dysfunction.  For women, it gives the vagina a better "grip".  Practicing regular Kegels can also lead to multiple orgasms.  I can't imagine anyone not wanting those benefits!

One of the great things about doing Kegels is that you can do them almost anywhere and anytime.  If only all exercise could be so simple and versatile!  Just think, you can be toning your way to a tighter vagina or bigger, stronger hard-on while working on your computer, watching television, or standing in line at the store.

So how exactly do you get started?  Once you have identified the right muscles you are ready to start exercising them.  Tighten your pelvic muscles, hold for five seconds, then relax for five seconds.  Try it four or five times in a row.  Work up to keeping the muscles contracted for ten seconds, relaxing for ten seconds between contractions.  If you find that five second reps are too difficult to start with, then shorten the time to two to three seconds.  Gradually increase your rep time each week until you reach ten seconds.  Try to do three sets of ten daily.  Be mindful to not flex the muscles in your belly, thighs, or butt while doing your Kegels.

Some people like to add equipment to their Kegel exercise routine.  Some popular options are Ben Wa Balls, and Duotone Balls/.  These are weighted for pleasure and exercise.

        

If done regularly, you should notice results in eight to twelve weeks.  For some people, the results are dramatic.

So go ahead... make Kegels a part of your daily routine and enjoy the benefits!

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Getting Wet - Water Sex

The weather is getting hotter, clothes are becoming more scarce, and water is all the more appealing.  Whether you are cooling off in the pool or closing out the night with a soak in the jacuzzi, don't miss an opportunity for great sex.  Of course it sounds hot, wet, and simple ... but water sex can be trickier than you might realize.

The number one rule for great sex in the water is to use a great lube!  Contrary to what you might think, being in the water does not equal extra lubrication.  The water actually washes away a woman's natural lubrication and can make sex quite uncomfortable.  Water based lubes are easily washed away and result in squeak and friction.  Using a silicone based lube, such as Pink Silicone Lube, will make things much more slick and enjoyable.  

Using condoms in the water can prove to be difficult.  They tend to slip off in the water, so make sure to have plenty more close by just in case.  Try to put the condom on prior to getting in the water to help it stay on.  Also remember that pool chemicals such as chlorine or additives such as bath oil or bubble bath my harm a latex condom.

Whether you plan to get it on in the pool, shower, or another water filled place... here are some positions to try:

Jet Jiggy  -  Facing a jet, kneel on the seat of a hot tub and lean forward so you're on all fours.  Have your partner kneel between your legs so he can enter you from behind.  Once he's firmly inside you, both of you should grab on to the edge of the tub to help balance yourselves and slowly straighten up so the two of you are upright.  Continue holding on to the tub for support as he pumps away.

Ladder Lovin'  -  This position requires some maneuvering.  Climb down to the second-to-last rung of the pool ladder.  Do a 180, holding the rails, so your back is to the wall.  Lean forward and spread your legs so your guy can lower himself behind you and place his feet between your legs on the rung below you.  Adjust your bodies so he can slip himself inside you.

Tawdry Tube  -  Have your guy sit in an inner tube with his legs dangling over the edge.  Then straddle his lap while facing him, and slowly lower yourself onto his penis with your hands on his shoulders or the tube for support.  Once he's inside you, begin to rock back and forth.  He can intensify the action by grasping your hips to help propel you.

Hot-Tub Hug  -  Start with your guy sitting on the bench with his knees bent and legs slightly spread, leaning back with his arms outstretched and resting on the edge of the tub.  Straddle him, facing forward, and lower yourself onto his penis, holding on to his shoulders for support.  Keep your knees bent and feet flat as you move up and down or back and forth.

Sea Horse  -  Have your man lie on his back, facing the ocean, with his legs straight out in front of him and in the water.  He can prop himself up on his forearms if he doesn't want to get his hair full of sand.  Straddle his lap while facing away from him and slowly lower yourself onto his member.  Rest your hands on his pelvic area or thighs to help propel you.

Get a Leg Up  -  Fill the tub with only a few inches of water, then turn on the shower and let it run lightly.  Lie on your side, propped up on your forearm.  (Bend your knees if you need to.)  Lift your top leg, then have your man straddle your other leg.  Once he's entered you, rest your lifted leg on his shoulder as he holds on to your elevated thigh for leverage.

Bubbly Back Float  -  Recline in a hot tub with your arms stretched out to your sides, holding on to the edge of the tub for support if you need to.  Your partner kneels between your legs, facing you, and lifts you by the backs of your thighs so you're floating off the seat and he can enter you.

Tell me something you love about sex in the water?

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TMI TUESDAY - You are such a character

This week TMI Tuesday looks at human character via astrology and personality tests.

You are such a character

1. What is your astrological symbol?   Goat    Does it fit you?  Yes very much so.

2. List 3 of the good traits of your astrological symbol to which you can relate.
1.  Hard Work
2.  Determined
3.  practical

3. List 3 of the worst traits of your astrological symbol that you believe do not pertain to you.
 1. Organized
2. Need Allies
3.

4. What is your Chinese zodiac animal symbol?
TIGER

5. In Chinese philosophy, The Theory of the Five Elements describes the interaction and relation of natural phenomena. The five elements of wood, fire, Earth, metal and water affect your zodiac sign. Which element are you? Find out here
METAL

Bonus: Briefly tell us something you found interesting about your Chinese zodiac as it pertains to the Five Elements.

 Metal – Righteousness
The metal pronounces the life span, longevity or abortion, foretelling any penalties, dangers, difficulties and dead end.

Bonus, Bonus: What cartoon/comic character best describes you? Take the short personality test and share your results. Test: http://www.youthink.com/quiz.cfm?obj_id=1433


He-Man
You`re the toughie around here. People respect you and look to you for help. No one is quite yet sure about your sexual orientation, but times are still young and you have many years to develop. Nevertheless, you are a good friend to have. You may have to work on that brain of yours though.


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http://tmituesdayblog.wordpress.com/

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TMI Tuesday: April 29, 2014

This week’s TMI Tuesday was adapted from Friday Fill-ins.





Fill in the blanks below with whatever comes to mind first or is sexy or crazy. Have fun!

1. For me, it was the first time I saw willy .
2.   The first time I did it in the produce section at my local supermarket.
3. Behind the tree when we kissed .
4. Sky diving is something I always wanted to do.
5. When it was over, do it again.
6. Tonight I’m looking forward to dancing and singing.

Bonus: What is it? Explain how you would use it.   This an anal toy.   Rechargeable, portable and ooh so comfy with its rounded head.  Bonus - Remove the cap at the end and out pops a rotating vibrator.  Come try and enjoy.

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Get Gel-ous - Stimulate Me Baby!

Hello, loves.  Lets talk stimulation gel.  Most people have heard of them.  These gels can be a god-send for women struggling to get to their big moment.  For others, they can be a nightmare.  That’s why I’m here.  To help you find the ones that are right for you, and to give you the down low on the ingredients.

Whats inside

First up, what makes these things work?  The warming gels use caspian (peppers, usually from cayenne) oils or cinnamon oil.  If you are in any way allergic to peppers, please use the cinnamon base.  The cooling gels use either menthol or witch hazel to achieve the desired effect.  These ingredients increase blood flow to the area applied, and can help to achieve orgasm more easily.

Another  common ingredient is Acacia Honey, which has been known to cause a yeast infection in sensitive women.  Just watch the labels and go for ones without any kind of sweeteners.  

The Nightmares?

Because of the ingredients listed above, there are cautions you should know about.  These can cause skin irritation in some women, and have been known to be too strong and cause pain when used vaginally.  One of the most common complaints seems to be a yeast infection.  Many of these issues can be avoided by reading the ingredients and making sure you use them for clitoral stimulation instead of a personal lubricant.  They have an entirely different set of lubricants (g-spot gels) for this.   

So, which one is for me? 

Each one causes a different sensation, and the ingredients can cause a different intensity.  Getting a gel with the active ingredient closer to the bottom of the list can help to lessen the blow, especially if you are a new user.  Try them out! Not suggesting you buy a bottle of each  (some can be pretty pricy, up to $40), but there are other ways to experiment.  Getting free samples from the manufacturer is a good way to test the waters.  Another is to host or attend a toy party through a personal consultant.  They usually have gels you can test out at the party, or they can order some samples for you if none are on hand.  

Test out a small (PEA SIZE!) amount.  This will ensure you don’t have too much if you are sensitive, and will keep any issues   (see “the nightmares”) from arising.  Always use a small amount when testing a new product. If irritation occurs, please see your doctor.  

Don’t forget to take the product with you.

Play safe!

Get Gel-ous by: Rekindled Sparks

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